Titled Sketch Project

Patrick Stewart’s Christmas

danoster — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 20:27:04 +0000

Patrick Stewart's "A Christmas Story”

Starring Dan Oster – Written by Dan Oster
Directed by Jen Burton – Shot by Bobby Mort – Make-Up by Darren Lanning
End Music by Vlad Berkhemer – Special Thanks to The Improv Space and Lost Moon Radio

The Adventures of Dumb Dog and Fraidy Cat

danoster — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 22:19:50 +0000

Parched

danoster — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 01:33:36 +0000

“Parched”

Starring Bobby Mort & Dan Oster – Written by Bobby Mort & Dan Oster
Directed by Jen Burton – Shot & Edited by Becky Nelson
Music by Vlad Berkhemer

An Open Letter to All You Skippy Skip-Aheadersons

danoster — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 10:57:35 +0000

Hi, I’m the guy from the LegalZoom.com ad on YouTube that you can skip just when you get to my part. I know you recognize me because I’m the last thing you see before you blatantly IGNORE ME to get to your precious cat or trick shot or Lady YaYa video, or whatever the hell it is you’re looking for.

You know how it feels to be the most skipped guy on the Web? Of course you don’t. Promise you won’t skip me before I tell you? Pretty please? It feels lousy. Really stinkin’ lousy. At least the lady with the bag of coffee at the beginning gets to get her bit in before it’s off to skipperoo-land. Do you skip people in line? You probably do. Jerks.

I look like a nice guy, right? Like, maybe, your favorite uncle or something? Would you skip them? Probably not. You might, though. You could be just as awful as I imagine all of you are.

I just asking you to give a guy a break, okay? I had to wear that dumb-ass shirt and stand next to a wall of fish. Gross. Plus, that’s not even a real mustache. The spirit gum they used to attach it gave me a ‘stache-shaped rash on my lip and my wife could barely stand to look at me, much less touch me, for the three and a half weeks it took to heal.

Come on, it’s just thirty seconds. In fact, in the length of time it took you read this, you could’ve watched the whole ad twice. Ha! Gotcha, suckers!

Dirty

danoster — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 18:30:21 +0000

"Dirty"

Starring Jen Burton and Dan Oster - Written by Jen Burton
Directed by Will Maier - Edited by Dan Oster

The Sub

danoster — Mon, 30 May 2011 23:21:57 +0000

“The Sub”

Starring Jen Burton & Gabrielle Marcotte – Written by Jen Burton
Directed by Dan Oster – Shot & Edited by Becky Nelson
Music by Vlad Berkhemer

Appropriate Noises

danoster — Thu, 26 May 2011 09:52:51 +0000

When my girlfriend is whiny, I'm often at a loss for what to do (I'm sure you've had these moments in your relationship). Turns out all I have to do when this happens is make the appropriate-sounding noise or noises that will help sooth her (a.k.a. make her think I have been listening & understand).

Here is an ongoing list I’ve complied of these noises as well as the situations to which they correspond. Try 'em out!

Whiny Girlfriend Situation	Appropriate Noise Response
Hot in our apartment while the A/C is broken	Closed-mouth, hum-like "awww" sound
Hungry when there's no food in the house	Close-mouthed "Mmm-HMM" sound of agreement (stress on 2nd syllable)
Her boss at work is not reading her emails	Shocked, open-mouthed gasp of air
She spilled coffee on her favorite blouse	Grunt of sumo wrestler taking the ring
She's not losing as much weight as she wants to	Crows mating
Wondering out loud if you think about other girls	The 'clang clang clang' of the bell on a barge, specifically one passing near to Staten Island
You've forgotten her birthday	Long drawn-out whooping sound
You've forgotten your anniversary	Tiny rustling of squirrels in dry leaves
You've forgotten her eye color	Banshee shrieking
You've forgotten her sister's birthday	Clown on Fire
You've forgotten she isn't fireproof	Sound of World War I soldier opening rations
You've forgotten the dog at the beach	Sound of RMS Titanic splitting in two a mile beneath the Atlantic Ocean
You've forgotten her car isn't fireproof	Closing gong of Tokyo Stock Exchange
You've grazed her with throwing knives	Sound of Lincoln being shot
You've forgotten you attached throwing knives to the toilet seat	Rabbit chewing parsley

Hope those help!

Best,
Will of TSP

Will's relationship advice column in Prison Quarterly reproduced here with permission.

Battlestar Ga-FRAK-tica

danoster — Mon, 23 May 2011 22:21:27 +0000

“Battlestar Ga-FRAK-tica”

Starring Dan Oster, Lauren Flans, Jen Burton, Will Maier, and Bobby Mort
Written by Jen Burton and Dan Oster - Directed by Jordan Peele
Make-Up by Alexei O’Brien - Shot & Edited by Becky Nelson
Music by Vlad Berkhemer

College Movers

danoster — Mon, 23 May 2011 15:44:02 +0000

“College Movers”

Starring Laurel Coppock, Lauren Flans, Bobby Mort, and Jen Burton
Written by Laurel Coppock - Directed by Dan Oster
Shot & Edited by Becky Nelson - Music by Vlad Berkhemer

The Club

danoster — Wed, 18 May 2011 09:45:07 +0000

“The Club”

Starring Lauren Flans and Bobby Mort - Written by Lauren Flans
Music by Vlad Berkhemer - Directed by Dan Oster
Shot & Edited by Becky Nelson - Special Thanks to Alex Burke